THE STORY – Thirty years after a chance encounter, Maggie and Joel, aged 75 and 84, are still very much in love. But their relationship is not without complications. Born in the hard-boiled Bronx, Joel Meyerowitz is a world-renowned photographer with major exhibitions and 40 books to his name. British-born Maggie Barrett is a talented but less recognized artist and writer. There is a knot of unease in their relationship, which is further strained when Maggie falls and breaks her leg and Joel must take on her caregiving. In the shadow of mortality, each with a long and dramatic life behind them, the hard truths of life together provoke in Maggie and Joel an attempt to find a shared inner peace while there is still time.
THE CAST – Maggie Barrett & Joel Meyerowitz
THE TEAM – Manon Ouimet & Jacob Perlmutter (Directors)
THE RUNNING TIME – 100 minutes
On September 24th, 1990, two spirits of light crossed paths. Both were middle-aged, and both had been married before. They basked in each other’s glow, and as the romantic saying goes, the rest was history. “Two Strangers Trying Not to Kill Each Other” begins in the warmth of a couple reminiscing about the first time they met. Filmed pristinely in what looks like the golden hour of the Tuscan sun, Joel Meyerowitz and Maggie Barrett wax poetic about each other. Now, in the twilight years of their marriage, they hold onto moments such as this, where time slows to the cradle of a good memory. But for every scene of soothing nostalgia comes one of blunt confrontation, as “Two Strangers Trying Not to Kill Each Other” exists in the scattered pieces of a long marriage. Making their documentary feature debut, Manon Ouimet and Jacob Perlmutter focus their lens on an artistic couple as they ponder matters of life and death. While some of the footage can be overly indulgent, the directors give their subjects plenty of space to navigate a lifelong journey.
Whether in a romantic relationship or not, plenty of us can relate to the feeling of wanting to be seen, heard and understood. These forms of communication create a safety net within ourselves. The steps taken to reach that point can be an eye-opening journey, especially with complex underlying dynamics at play. Through the creative shared life of subjects Joel Meyerowitz and Maggie Barrett, “Two Strangers Trying Not to Kill Each Other” explores what it feels like to live in your partner’s shadow. A quick Google search of Joel will show a Bronx-born photographer of many accolades, including a twice-awarded Guggenheim Fellow. In the documentary, Joel speaks of the multiple books he’s written, the hundreds of gallery exhibitions to his name, and his early advocacy of using color in photography. British-born Maggie Barrett is a more low-key creative of many trades, from artist and novelist to musician.
Fittingly, the filmmakers use a series of photographs to introduce them both from a creative lens. The couple’s experiences before they met are juxtaposed in a way that emphasizes the different weights people carry and share in a relationship. When Joel was awarded his first Guggenheim Fellow, Maggie gave birth to her stillborn daughter, Amy, and found out she was adopted. She became an addict, got clean, opened a hair salon, met Joel, and recovered from an accident three weeks later. He fell in love with her resilience. When he published his 12th book, she wrote three novels (all rejected). As the timelines continue to intertwine, so does the couple’s closeness, from getting married to splitting their time between New York and rural Tuscany. An argument puts things into perspective, and they decide to resolve any conflicts while they still can.
With Joel and Maggie reaching the final stages of life, there comes the inevitability of mortality. Watching the two navigate the unknown with such frankness is part of what makes this documentary engaging. It’s a testament to the synergy between their openness and the filmmakers’. Without a particularly imposed narrative structure to indicate when certain topics arise, the documentary unfolds to the tune of this couple’s music. Hearing their conversations sparks compelling examinations about how couples share their space, not just physically but emotionally. Plus, the complexities of caring for an ill loved one come into play; the rearrangement of time and the defense of dignity are just a few layers the documentary unearths in its raw observations.
Can life ever fully be shared with another? How does one hold onto individuality while defending personal space? These questions become channeled primarily through Maggie, who faces the interior conflict of not feeling recognized beyond her association with a more well-known partner. She struggles to feel seen on her own merit and based on her individuality outside the marriage. The documentary gives her time in the spotlight, illuminating a first-hand experience of living in your partner’s shadow and moments of resentment from harboring such feelings. One of the most uncomfortable moments occurs when Joel dismisses Maggie’s presence and deems his phone call more important, which causes a ripple effect of long-buried emotions.
Ouimet and Perlmutter take plenty of creative liberties to make the documentary look and feel heavily stylized, which has its benefits and faults. They lovingly lift inspiration from their subjects through the frequent use of photography and the playing of Maggie’s piano music as a background score. Plus, hearing how she vocalizes messy feelings speaks to her articulation in writing; some moments that come from a painfully raw place feel like monologues that could be performed on a stage. Several shots throughout the documentary also emphasize the separate worlds Joel and Maggie inhabit. The camera often focuses on Maggie with Joel technically present, but all we get of him is his reflection or voice.
There’s a slight irony in capturing the unfiltered raw emotions of a couple’s marriage while also crafting meticulous visual language. The film offers some stunning scenes, such as the gorgeous Italian landscapes of Tuscany and the inviting architectural design of the couple’s home; however, these moments start to paint a faraway portrait of Joel and Maggie. Their conversations might be intimate and candid, but a barrier gets in the way of fully locking into their experiences and feeling the emotional impact of their words. The personality-driven approach of “Two Strangers Trying Not to Kill Each Other” keeps its subjects front and center. Still, the overindulgence makes them feel a little too much like strangers in this otherwise poignant journey.
