THE STORY – It’s 1995 in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. During a feminist studies class, college student Kristi opens her textbook to discover something that turns her world upside down. For as long as she can remember, Kristi has felt different- now she knows why. Demanding her medical records, Kristi is finally confronted with the devastating truth: she has been lied to all her life by those she trusted the most. What follows is the unearthing of an extraordinary and disturbing secret that goes far beyond her own life, leading to the discovery of a psychology experiment on a pair of twins – once hailed as a revolutionary success but now revealed to be a terrible lie affecting thousands around the world.
THE CAST – N/A
THE TEAM – Grace Hughes-Hallett (Director/Writer)
THE RUNNING TIME – 80 Minutes
Although they’re a part of the LGBTQIA+ initialism, the intersex community and their struggles are generally less discussed than other communities, even among queer people. “The Secret of Me,” the new documentary from director Grace Hughes-Hallett, seeks to shine a light on intersex individuals and, specifically, their fight to end supposed “corrective” surgeries that are often performed on them shortly after birth. The title itself may appear to refer to these individuals’ identities being hidden from the world when, as the film shows, many of them had their own true identities hidden from themselves by their families and the medical professionals who advised them. The documentary brilliantly educates its audience on a subject they may not know much about at the start of the film. By the time the credits roll, it sends them out of the theater, not only enlightened but also inspired to fight for the community the film spotlights.
Although it eventually broadens its scope to look at the American intersex community’s history in the second half of the 20th century, the film smartly uses one person as a gateway to tell its story. Jim Ambrose is the de facto narrator, telling his story as an intersex individual born with, as he describes, male genitalia that doctors determined were underdeveloped in such a way that he was assigned female and underwent “corrective” surgery that essentially mutilated him. As the film shows, this is and was a commonplace practice for intersex individuals to be put through, and it was carried out thanks to the findings of Dr. John Money. His studies on sexual and gender identity – which maintained that gender identity could be molded and shaped as desired by parents within a child’s first two years of life – have since been both scrutinized and disavowed. But his push for surgery meant to “normalize” intersex babies is still used as a foundation for medical treatments around the world to this day.
Jim Ambrose was raised as “Kristi,” with his parents keeping the truth about his birth and subsequent surgery hidden from him. However, as Jim explains, he always felt something was wrong, even before being fully aware. It wasn’t until he attended college and read up on intersex surgeries in a course on feminism that he was fully able to put together his history and have the full knowledge and context to live his life on his terms. Jim’s journey to self-actualization serves as a way for the film to organically explore the fight for intersex autonomy, which blossomed from the parallel fights for gender equality and queer rights that exploded in the 1970s and continued for the subsequent decades. Amazingly, the documentary builds to a climactic moment where Jim, in the present day, is able to meet with the specific doctor who recommended and performed the surgery on him that would alter the course of his life – an extraordinary interaction that, as Jim explains, many intersex people dream of having.
Jim’s story makes for an excellent Trojan horse for the film to open up to broader topics. Using a singular individual’s experience as a way to personalize the struggles of an entire community is a brilliant choice. It allows the documentary to use one person’s narrative as a specific example of the difficulties faced by intersex people, bringing otherwise unaware audiences into the community’s world without overwhelming them with too many stories told broadly. Using Jim’s experiences to essentially be a placeholder for those of thousands of others allows the film to stay focused.
Smartly, the film shows that these invasive, unasked-for surgeries are so often carried out more so for the supposed benefit of the parents than the baby. The film subtly widens this scope to show that these surgeries were performed out of fear of these babies growing up and living lives that don’t conform to standard heterosexual ideas of sex and gender roles that fit neatly within a binary. But the film never puts too fine a point on it. This is a film that trusts in the audience’s intelligence and never talks down to or lectures them in a way that could be off-putting.
To tell its story, “The Secret of Me” uses a mix of contemporary interviews (most of which feature Jim narrating directly to the camera) and archival footage. These helpfully provide context and visual aid to the stories being told. Less inspired is the use of recreation footage featuring faceless actors as stand-ins for relevant figures like Dr. Money. These mostly distract, especially when the non-fiction footage is so much more effective at guiding the audience. And while it makes for a more compelling storytelling angle, the film’s nonlinear approach – in addition to the occasionally overlapping, often unlabeled voiceover clips – can be a bit dizzying.
“The Secret of Me” is a powerfully effective documentary that educates viewers through a captivating story. Within Jim’s tale – and thus those of many intersex individuals with similar experiences – lies the fact that too many people are frightened of the truth when it doesn’t fit into the rigid standards of a cisgender, heterosexual existence. “The Secret of Me” is a call to action for honesty and freedom told with intelligence, both emotionally and cerebrally.
